If Excel is a Superhero … [5k Contest and Giveaway]

Posted on August 4th, 2009 in blogging , Humor - 77 comments

This blog has reached 5000 RSS subscribers and to celebrate that we have launched a series of contests. Yesterday we have announced the twitter formula contest. Today it is time to show your creativity.

The contest

Complete this sentence: “If Excel is a superhero …”

The Booty

  • 2 copies of John Walkenbach’s Power Utility Pack Excel Add-in worth $80.

    Excel PUP add-in by J Walk

    PUP is a very popular add-in among heavy users of excel. It has macros for most commonly used activities. And a copy of it is just a comment away for you. This prize is sponsored by J Walk himself. 🙂

  • 1 license to any one of the Peltier Tech’s Charting Utilities worth $40.
    PTS Charting Utilities

    Jon Peltier has launched 4 very useful charting utilities for excel – Waterfall Chart Utility, Cluster Stack Chart Utility (my review here), Box and Whisker Chart Utility and Marimekko Chart Utility. All of these are potential time and money savers for any one doing excel based reporting and dashboards. This prize is sponsored by Jon Peltier himself 🙂

  • $25 Amazon.com Gift Card.

    Amazon Gift Card worth $25You can use it to purchase whatever you want on Amazon.com

  • 5 copies of my excel formulas e-book worth $50.

    Excel formulas book

Rules and Guidelines:

  • To enter the contest, just complete this sentence – “If Excel is a superhero …” and post it in comments.
  • Anything goes from “if excel is a superhero it would marry Marisa Tomei and settle in Barbados” to a complex evil plot where vlookup strikes back on index-match.
  • You can participate as many times as you want. But only one prize per individual.
  • Winners will be chosen randomly.
  • My randbetweeen() likes funny responses. I am just saying.
  • If you like the contest and would love to ask your friends to take part in it, please tweet about this (buttons are on the top and bottom)
  • The contest closes on 15th August midnight (at where I sleep)
  • If you have questions, leave a comment and I will get back to you.

Go!

PS: You can win $230 worth of prizes by tweeting your favorite formula. Find out more.

PPS: I use affiliate code to link to Jon’s product. I think the products are supercool. I am sure you will too.

Written by Chandoo
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Home: Chandoo.org Main Page
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77 Responses to “If Excel is a Superhero … [5k Contest and Giveaway]”

  1. Jamie says:

    wait...excel isn't a superhero?!?!?!?!?!?!

  2. mikii says:

    If Excel is a superhero then i am his trustworthy pale-skinned sidekick with superspecial mouse attack and deadly alt+F4 shortcut skills

  3. Sheva says:

    If Excel is a superhero then VBA is his Batmobile.

  4. Rich says:

    If Excel were a superhero it would defeat and line up all the villains in rows, but have to stop at 65,536.

  5. Vince says:

    ...then Word is its clueless, annoying sidekick.

  6. Brian S says:

    If Excel is a superhero, then he'd be able to predict and foil a villain's crimes by defining all theft data points and geographical information (using complex formulas that he learned from Chandoo's ebook), and forecasting where the next crime would be. Everyone would understand how he did it because of his effective usage of charting, thanks to Peltier Tech suite of addons. Oh, he'd wear JWalk's Power Utility Pack as a utility belt.

    Isn't that basically every plot on the show Numb3rs?

  7. Martin says:

    If Excel is a Superhero... then Chandoo is its faithful friend at the local newspaper, who always writes about its amazing skills and how it helps ordinary people like us to be better everyday...

  8. If Excel is a superhero then pointy haired dilbert will assist you to master it

  9. David says:

    Then I would be its master, the leader of all superheroes (the Blue Word, PowerPoint Woman, and the most powerful of them all, Access Man!). We would all live deep in the bowels of the main building on campus and would conquer all the evil the academics throw at us! Wait, I am sorry, I am writing my biography...:)

  10. Mark says:

    A1="Excel"
    A2="Superhero"
    =IF(A1=A2, "Life is as it should be", "The World Is coming to an end")

  11. CC says:

    IF Excel is a superhero then SPSS would be its under-appreciated, less attractive brother picking up the dirty work

  12. If Excel is a superhero, then its secret identity is graph paper.

  13. Andy Post says:

    If Excel is a superhero, then Exelina would be his bride!

  14. Dale Kukielka says:

    If Excel is a superhero, Chandoo would be its trusty side-kick.

  15. Chris P says:

    If Excel is a superhero then I feel like Morgan Freeman in Batman Begins by outfitting it with all sorts of fantastic tools (in VBA) so it can get real work done.

  16. Sebastian says:

    If Excel is a Superhero, Bill Gates must be an atomic spider, biten Excel long time ago, when it grew up at Grandma Martha Icrosoft.

  17. Tim says:

    If Excel is a superhero then where is it's cape?

  18. Ron S. says:

    Then I am Cell Boy his loyal slave, er sidekick, who thinks he understands and can control his overlord. "Silly Cell Boy," Excel says, "now why don't you go and straighten up the pivot tables for lunch."

  19. Ducheznee says:

    If Excel is a superhero, then I am its arch enemy bent on wasting as much of its time engaged in fruitless and pointless battles where neither of us die or win the girl, but only live to do it all over again the next day.

  20. Dom Legaspi says:

    If Excel is a superhero, it fights off the evil forces of IV65536, with villians such as Gray Graph Background, Extraneous Named Ranges, Circular Reference, and the group's nefarious leader, #N/A!

  21. Kurt says:

    If Excel is a superhero it would draw me and I would win a prize

  22. Jdogzilla says:

    If Excel is a superhero … then Word is his sidekick, Powerpoint is his PR agent, and Steve Balmer would still be the annoying monkey on the side trying to emulate the greatness whose name is CHANDOO!!!

  23. Bob says:

    If Excel is a Superhero, then the Fluent interface is Kryptonite.

  24. Bob says:

    If Excel is a Superhero, it would admit to mistakes from the Pentium Bugs.

  25. Aayus says:

    If Excel is a superhero, then Google Sheets is its arch enemy and Chandoo is the faithful side-kick

  26. Justin B says:

    If Excel is a Superhero, then the Ribbon is the underwear on the outside. Distracting, but not pratical

  27. David Ozias says:

    If Excel is a superhero, make sure it has an appropriate costume. i.e. - NO UNDERWEAR SHOWING!!

  28. Justin B says:

    If Excel is a Superhero, then poor quality data visualisations are it's Bat Signal

  29. zaxl says:

    If excel is a superhero, is so powerful that can save the world one spreadsheet at a time. Is so strong that one bad stroke can make a company rumble and crumble into pieces. Is so smart that can make millions of calculations every second. Si so humble that almost nobody knows its powers. Is so noble that shares his superpowers with the most needed... us 😀

  30. John says:

    If excel is a superhero, then its "Achilles Heel" is not having Chandoo.org's support.

  31. John says:

    If Excel is a superhero, then Google is its potential "Achilles Heel"

  32. Steven says:

    If Excel is a superhero …I will buy the legit copy of Excel software..

    i kid, i kid!!!

    Don't kill me!

  33. Tim says:

    If Excel is a superhero, then VisiCalc is the creator.

  34. Subhash says:

    If Excel is a superhero, then the users have Kryptonite in their hands and everyday is spent throwing it (either of the two) away as far as they can.

  35. Robert says:

    If Excel is a superhero, it could actually divide by 0!

  36. trungkiensmile says:

    If Excel is a super hero (and it is), I'm his favorite fan :).

  37. Cyril Z. says:

    If Excel is a superhero, then OpenOffice is its "Made In China" counterpart...

  38. Nate says:

    If Excel is a superhero, Access is a god.

  39. Moises says:

    If Excel is a superhero then I'm just a hero but super.......

  40. Matt says:

    If Excel is a superhero, then pie charts are the arch-villain.

  41. jeff weir says:

    ...then I'm his bitch.

  42. chip says:

    If Excel is a superhero, then its alter-ego is the pasty accountant with glasses whom you'd never suspect had supercalculation powers

  43. Ange says:

    If Excel is a superhero, then I am its trusty sidekick DataGirl!

  44. gcdaz says:

    If Excel is a superhero and I'm a villain, I'll hit him, then press F4 until he begs for mercy.

  45. Francisco says:

    If Excel is a superhero ... We are enjoying it, Thanks to you and all the MVP´s

  46. gcdaz says:

    If Excel is a superhero, he should probably focus on preventing white-collar crime.

  47. Justin B says:

    "If Excel is a Superhero, then I'm just a hack - one day they'll see, one day I'll show them ALL" the Googledocs developer muttered sourly.
    "Hmmph, yeah, yeah, yeah" Excel thought, as she listened (Indirectly) from a distance, "I've got Your number, buddy"

  48. Justin B says:

    "If Excel is a Superhero! IF Excel is a Superhero, waddayamean IF!!" squeaked the office junior.
    Seems enthausiastic enough mused Excel. But then, maybe a bit too keen, she wondered. Something just didn't add up.

  49. Ian Hinckley says:

    If Excel is a Superhero is now core functionality in Excel 2010. In earlier versions you had to write complex formulae like if(Excel = "Superhero",..), but now, in Excel 2010, you can create your spreadsheets in plain English. We included this exciting new feature to make up for our poor implementation of Sparklines in Excel 2010.

  50. Alex Hu says:

    If Excel is a superhero, all data analyst will sleep sound at night.

  51. Tiago says:

    =IF("EXCEL SUPER HERO";"I DANCE";"I WORK")

  52. Tim Coyne says:

    It'd be smacking other apps in the behind, and calling them Sally!

  53. Kyle says:

    If Excel is a superhero then a computer is its spinach.

  54. Justin B says:

    "If EXCEL is a Superhero, then it'd bust me out of here" quipped IV65536 as one of the guards took a menacing step forward, "Him too" refering the to occupant of the adjacent cell.
    The guard getting closer IV65536 quickly calculated an intercept, "I wasn't addressing you, I was talking to the Arsey-One", indicating the retreating figure of much larger other guard with a flick of his head.
    The smaller guard paused "Oh yeah, what then?" he sneered.
    Looking at the top left corner of the small cell wistfully the prisoner replied "Get Property. Make a Name for myself. Get far away from here, maybe in the country".
    "Hmmph, Home on the Range, aye?"
    "Yeah, completely off the Grid" IV65536 said as he settled into to corner.
    The dialog clearly over, the guard locked the cell.
    Dreamily forecasting the future IV65536 contented himself by stroking Bob, his pet mouse.

  55. jennifer says:

    If EXCEL is a Superhero, then all the police force in the world is redundant, and Excel will be busy catching all the bad guys of the world! Good luck Excel.

  56. dhammer says:

    If EXCEL is a superhero, it's definitely from the DC Universe and it's name is probably Martian Manhunter.

  57. Ducheznee says:

    If Excel is a superhero, its signature move must be the circular reference, catching enemies in an endless loop of error messages and help box dialogs. Must... press... ESC!

  58. SANTOSH says:

    “If Excel is a superhero then then John, Jon, Mike,Ron,Mike,Stephen,Andrew,Dick,Tushar,Chip,Andy, and Chandoo are his Twelve Apostles”

  59. Alan says:

    If Excel is a superhero then my IT department is the evil empire

  60. Preet says:

    then pivot tables are its lethal artillery

  61. Neil says:

    If Excel is a superhero then Lotus 1-2-3 is it's mild manered spectacle wearing alter ego! Who would ever believe it?!?

  62. Olle says:

    If Excel is a superhero he is furious with all the helpless n00bs using his super powers to calculate what tip to give at the restaurants.

  63. Lisa says:

    If Excel is a super hero then we would all be out of jobs.

  64. [...] The PHD 5k Giveaway which includes exciting prizes like Excel dashboard bundle, Power Utility Pack Licenses, Amazon gift card and Excel 2007 Formulas book is going to end by tomorrow midnight (that is 15th August people). To participate, all you got to do is, either send a tweet with your favorite formula tip or complete this simple sentence “If excel is a superhero…” [...]

  65. Rich says:

    If Excel is a Super Hero, then I wouldn't have a job, because all my work would have been done when I lit up the sky with the image of a pivot table or picked up the phone and said "!" (exclamation point). But instead I lay here on the tracks of the corporate world waiting for Excel to stop kissing his faithful steed VBA.

  66. Allan Frolick says:

    If Excel is a super hero then Access is a database.

    Oh, wait! Access IS a database, so Excel must be a hero.

  67. Dan Huston says:

    If Excel is a superhero then which Office app is Wonder Woman?!?!

  68. Arnab Bose says:

    If Excel is a super hero it will also wear an underwear on top of its pants.

  69. Greg says:

    If excel is a superhero, he has had a hard time flying the last few years due to ribbons his mom sewed on his suit thinking people would understand him more. She meant well.

  70. Angelo says:

    If Excel is a superhero, then I'm out of a job, because anytime anyone needs a flashy dashboard, or a cool graphic representation of complex data, or the extraction of process time data from mounds of data or any other hard task, they'll just call the superhero and - BAM! - it's done. You ask me? Let Excel be!

  71. Danny Chong says:

    If Excel is a superhero, all he has to remember is that lightsabers do NOT work underwater!

  72. Pascal says:

    If Excel is a superhero then it would hide, freeze and split all pains ... uh panes ...

  73. Geoff says:

    If Excel is a Superhero it would have an "array" of the latest "functions" and could "match" the "power" of any enemy.

  74. dewey1973 says:

    If Excel is a superhero then VBA is the tool I... its arch nemesis UserMan... will use to bent it to my will!

    MUUUAAAA haaa haaaaaa!

  75. S23 says:

    I know its too late to leave a comment.

    If Excel is a SuperHero, then the # of girlfrnds Excel will have is =RAND()

    LOL

  76. Jayjaygross says:

    If excel is a superhero than I want to use this superheroe to make a bunch of box plots so please can I have this utility free.

  77. Israel says:

    If Excel is a superhero then all the Vlookup villains will look up to him in awe.

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