I always wanted to write about my hair and its adventures. There are two reasons for it,
– I never know how much more time its going to last.
– Dont bother!
History of Human Hair:
The story of hair dates back to Neanderthal man. Probably it was there before his times too. The point is not that. So the hair began to grow happily. Neanderthals were really smart. From the beginning they knew that hair is nothing but dead keratin. So they never bothered to care about it. Soon the next generation of monkeys followed the suit. By this time most of the humanity is covered with a thick black/brown layer of dead keratin and lice.
Fast forward a couple of generations. Somewhere during early 1900s humanity got bored with hair. So much so that even the FMCG marketers got bored of it. So one fineday a set of unknown young men connived to launch a cutting edge product. Bang! We suddenly have a safety razor. Prior to the date the idea of razor was scary cause you can use to kill yourself or kill the already dead keratin. By then people already knew scissors.It took a couple of days and another inventor to come up with a profession called ‘snipman’. Till that day people described “anyone holding your neck with a hand and has a knife in another” as “killer”. Not anymore!
History of my hair:
By the time I grew enough of it the world has undergone rapid progresses as far as hair is concerned. There were twin-bladed razors, conditioners, shampoos, lotions, gels, oils, creams, moisturizers, wigs and whatnot already in place.
I didn’t quite remember what happened in my first encounter with the barber except that I looked balder and whiter.
Fast forward another couple of decades.
As fate would have it I had to travel 1000 kilometers and cross 2 states to do an MBA. Most of the people in this place dont speak the language I have grown up with. Even the barbers dont. So I decide, “I am not going to give my head to someone who doesn’t know what I speak. All the Hindi I know can only make me say ‘cut my head'”. Thus I ended up growing hair when the term is in progress. Sometimes the pressure is too high to handle and I endup getting a haircut. This is what happens then,
A happily haired PHD enters the saloon. The barber looks at him suspiciously and asks what I want.
Me: “hair cut”
Bar: “heah?”
Me: (doing mock scissoring with my hands on my head) “hair cut”
Bar: he shows me a chair and envelopes me with a huge cloth
Me: (desperately trying to tell him what hair style I want and where on my head I pair my hair)”bhai saab, uper thoda sa chod de, peeche aur kaan ke uper poora kaat le”
Bar: (with a classic what the fu*k look on his face) “shaving chahiye kya?”
Me: (breathlessly cursing my Hindi teacher now) “Nahi bahi saab, uper thoda hair chod de. peecher poora remove kar le, kaan ke uper bhi”
After sometime…
Bar: “Yeah sahi hi kya?”
Me: (oh dear god, where did I see this hair style? Hmm… yeah Asok in Dilbert wears it. Duh!) “Nahi bhai saab, uper aur thoda cut kar le”
After somemore time…
Bar: “Ho gaya saab”
Me: (Duh! this is like getting two haircuts and paying for one, Lawn mower would have been better than this stupid!) “thank you bhayya!”
The same stupid cycle repeats, I try all the shops in Indoor and yet manage to get a cut above/below the rest. Baah!
11 Responses
Ciao Hui,
Collecting Excel tricks under the title “Notable Excel Websites (Non-MVP) Edition” is a brilliant idea…
Thank you in the name of all The FrankensTeam.
On our site there is a box with a picture and text highlighting:
This is a no-MVP site
we think ourselves “bad boys” a bit 🙂
For those who would like to know why our site is a no-MVP site, enough to click on the link:
http://goo.gl/lxDszY
Thank you again!
Thanks a lot
I really enjoyed this (newsletter). I must admit that I rarely read an Excel newsletter (and I subscribe to quite a few) all the way though, but this grabbed my attention and before I realized it, I was engrossed in it. I must also admit that most of this I don’t understand, yet. But, it excites me when I do learn something new in Excel. I can’t wait to see how much of this I can implement into my (constantly-evolving) ‘House Budget’ & ‘Family Medical’ worksheets that I have developed over the past few years! I sure hope to see more of these type of newsletters in the future! Thanks!
Thanks for doing this Hui! I appreciate being included.
I like Tom’s tip a lot. I posted about a tool I wrote to automate this at http://yoursumbuddy.com/tables-edit-query-dialog/
EXCELLENT !
Hui, This post is Superb! More over I have always been a fan of Roberto’s work and have learnt a lot from him.
Here are some of my recent contributions
1. Customising markers in a chart – http://www.goodly.co.in/customize-markers-in-a-chart/
2. Charting Hacks to work faster – http://www.goodly.co.in/5-charting-hacks-to-help-you-work-faster/
3. 7 Date formulas to make life easy – http://www.goodly.co.in/date-formulas-in-excel/
4. Customised scrollbar using VBA – http://www.goodly.co.in/customized-scroll-bar-in-excel/
5. Adding Direct Legends – http://www.goodly.co.in/customized-scroll-bar-in-excel/
Hope everyone enjoys!
I like the Excel Ninja Menus.
1. Select a cell or range then move till the 4-way cross appears. Right-Click and drag the selection to another place in the worksheet then, like a ninja, a menu full of skills and throwing stars pops up allowing me to do all kinds of awesomeness.
2. When you click the fill box on a Date and right click and drag it down, a lot of amazing Date options pop up.
I also brand my Excel to remind myself that I’m awesome. In my personal macro workbook I place the following code.
Private Sub Workbook_Open()
Application.Caption = “SuperKrishna’s Awesomeness”
End Sub
My favorite tip goes along with #17. If you try to copy subtotaled data (and in earlier Excel versions filtered data),when you paste it all the data displays instead of just the summarized data.
To get around this, select your summarized data, click on Find and Select tab and then select Go to Special. Click Visible cells Only and click OK. Now paste and you will see that only the summarized data has been copied.
You can also go CTRL+G and then click the Special icon at the bottom of the dialog box.
What a great idea, Chandoo! I’d love to be included in your next edition:) Perhaps a VBA exclusive version?
@Ryan
I will review this concept about 6 months out from the original post and be sure to keep your site in mind
Hui…
That sounds great, Hui:) I just realized I gave credit to Chandoo for the idea and I should have attributed it to you.
Sorry about that!