Know your internship insideout

Posted on June 21st, 2005 in Random - 0 comments

Note: This post has a face value of ZERO.

Come April and 99.999% of India’s total population’s sole concern is the summer heat. The rest 0.001% is profoundly worried about a strange exercise called summer internship. Once upon a time some body will say, “it is the minority which define the majority”. So lets talk about these 10,000 odd interns and their travails with a maze as confused and unfocused as these interns it self – business.

Once upon a time a profound management thinker (excuse the oxymoron, for I am a moron) thought to himself, “why not these young and inexperienced management graduates get some exposure to the practicalities of the business mid way through their studies”. The initial contention if any was to make the wet-behind-the-ears half MBAs understand the finer and more dominant aspects of business like decision making without data, politics and role of receptionists. But somewhere the wholething lost its focus.

Lets take a closer look at the internship process using some Q&A.

Q: I am first year MBA at ****. I am interested in marketing positions. What do you think I should do in internship?
A: There are 3 simple steps to do a marketing project in summers.
    1) Ask for marketing project
    2) Get your marketing project
    3) Do nothing

Q: I am a confused soul. My guide wants me to develop something unique. I dont know how to proceed. Any suggestions?
A: This is a problematic situation. If a person knows what he/she wants we can provide it. Otherwise its difficult to give the right thing when the right thing is not defined. You have several ways to workout this problem. My favorite is,

    1) Come up with your ultimate solution for the problem.
    2) Develop some stupid solutions also.
    3) Daily give one stupid solution to your guide
    4) Let your guide remind you about the deadlines
    5) At the last moment throw the first solution at guides inbox
    6) Sit back and relax
    7) Repeat


Q: I have a strategy project. What do you think I should do?
A: Thank God for your amazing luck


Q: What is this strange thing called “understand the customer through marketing research”. How does one do it?
A: “understanding the customer” is one of best oxymorons available in the management. Nevertheless the whole thing done like this,

    1) First up meet the customers, Gather their opinions through some questionnaires
    2) Throw them away
    3) Understand your guide’s opinion about the whole thing
    4) Use your wac/mwc skills to restate the guides opinion in the report
    5) Repeat


Q: Your Q&A gives me scary feeling about the whole thing. What should I do?
A: Read my book “Management is a Myth”. I am waiting for the readers to click ruthlessly on the ads placed to the rightside of the screen to fetch me enough money so that I can publish the book.

Written by Chandoo
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