are you doing BLOWJOB???

Posted on November 24th, 2004 in Random - 2 comments

Gosh!, you must be thinking that finally I started writing something interesting (???). Well, it very well is interesting. Just that it is not in the horizontal plane in which you are thinking it is.
Without any further titles and other irrelevant stuff lets get to the ‘job’ in hand.

BLOW in the blowjob stands for Blinding Light of Obvious Wisdom. Thus BLOW job here means the process of generating the Blinding Light of Obvious Wisdom (For a far more analysis on this consult the book Dilbert Principle). But here in this blog, we will discuss how this is relevant in today’s management education in India.

When somebody is doing BLOWjob, he/she (???) is doing nothing but blinding the eyes of neighbors or for that matter anyone and everyone listening to them by giving very much obvious gyaan in twisted and contorted sentences.

Most of the time the BLOW jobs in B-schools take place in classrooms. It happens of many reasons. But most dominating of them are sometimes very obvious. Like,

g The person doing the job hasn’t prepared for the case or whatever is being discussed and desperately wants to say something to get a decent CP grade. (Mind you, CP is an altogether different phenomenon. and most of the times it has ulterior motives than the menial blowjob. For more on CP and associated jargon visit this post.)

g The person is either sleeping in the class or deeply engrossed in something outside the dimensions and limits of the class. When the professor forces him/her to ejaculate his/her gyaan so that other can gain a different perspective, the person in case has no choice but to blind others.

g The person sometimes feels the responsibility of the mythological tortoise and tries to save the class from the misery of suffering from the lengthy monologues of the prof and thus tries to break the sleeps of many poor souls in his vicinity by doing a resounding blowjob.

Now that we know the situations, which make a person, do the obvious thing, lets see some of the classic ways of doing the blowjob.

1. Twisted Torture: well, as the name says, the person takes the last 2-3 sentences said by the prof. or the last oratory performer and changes the sequence of words, voice and sometimes speech (as in direct and indirect speech) and rehashes the stuff into the faces of the petrified audience.

2. Wordy Wickedness: All you need to do is to remember the words from Barrons. That is all. You can convert any given sentence into an altogether different one just by replacing every word with its synonym. Sample this.

Budgeting is a systematic process of resource allocation for a time period

Converted to

Budgeting is an orderly operation of asset assignment for a stipulated interval of time (well, you see often barrons is also helpless)

3. Complementary Crap: Yo!, this is the easiest of all. You don’t need the vocabulary of a stud to do this. The concept is simple. Whatever is the last sentence(s) said by the earlier participant, you just need to complement it and shoot back. The underlying theory behind this oratory exploitation dates back to the invention of complementary function in binary arithmetic. Well lets see a small example to understand better.

The market share of dingbat dog shampoo as of now is 34.5%.

Complimented to

That means, the market share of all other dog shampoos put together is 65.5% !!!

These are the basic ways of doing the job. May be there are more. Well, you see I am an observer. So cant really give you an insider perspective of the whole thing. If you thing, you wanted to add something or rehash the same use the comments liberally. With that I rest my case.

So are you doing BLOWJOB???

Y! Status says: are you doing BLOWJOB?

Written by Chandoo
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2 Responses to “are you doing BLOWJOB???”

  1. Anonymous says:

    i nominate chandoo for the best blogger

    venkat

  2. Chandoo says:

    wow.. that sounds sweet. Thank you da.

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