A bachelors guide to renting a house in Chennai

All you hopeless and wifeless bachelors, get up and start looking. With PHD releasing “the unofficial bachelors guide to renting a house in Chennai” today, you will never again get a “no, we dont rent to criminals, politicians, drummers, dogs, carpenters and bachelors” reply from your prospective landlords.

Where to look:

• Never call a housing broker. They charge highest money and always give you lousiest house. Remember, brokers always have more information than both the sellers and buyers. They capitalize on that only. Instead start looking yourself.
• There are numerous sources for finding available houses. Start with freeads news paper. Its 10 rupees and full of classifieds. You can even buy Sulekha Classifieds. Call your friends in the city and ask them to find more info from their parents. You get good tips/contacts from them.
• Use company intranet/bbs. Some people may doubt the usage of the same, but believe me, people will trust you if you are from same company.
• Try a shared accommodation. There are AC double rooms along with food, laundry, tv facilities available for a 4000-5000 per month. You may have to share the room with someone else, but that’s ok if you are living alone.

But I am a bachelor:

• You found a place that you liked very much. But the owners are afraid that you might spend most of the midnights hammering nails into their walls or ogling at the neighbors daughter or smoking fags using the bed as ashtray. Don’t worry.
• Start with telling them that you are about to marry. The fact is everyone eventually gets married. It might take a couple of decades for you to get your dream girl / Bipasha Basu, but otherwise you would be married soon.
• Bring your parents in to picture. Tell them that your mother/dad/distant aunts etc would be visiting you almost every weekend. For all you know they might even come.
• Tell them you have a little sister in Anna University/IIT and she is really home sick. She would visit you in the weekend and you both go to golden beach, saravana bhavan and venkateswara temple. For all you know, most the women are your sisters only, otherwise you wouldn’t have remained a bachelor till now.
• Tell them you have no drums, fags, bottles, glasses, flutes, guitars, torn jeans in your luggage. If it helps, carry a “how to learn surya namaskara in 24 seconds book with you”.
• Ask them if their current cable airs Aastha channel. You never know where it can hit them 😉
  

Oh yeah, I did all of this but with no luck:

Leave your blog address in the comments; I shall wait for the same post from you once you rent a place.

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