For the last one hour or so i am thinking. I am thinking about my future and my current state.
After coming here life has become really hectic. This place never gave me a chance to stop and think where all this will take me. Under the disguise of handling stress and managing hazaar things I became totally negelegent of several things and lost interest in things which are not forced upon me.
As i sit today totally bored with preparations for “managing IT” midterm and thinking, I found several interesting things or rather disturbing trends within myself. the reason for this chain reaction is today’s (22/02/2005) classes. We have 4 cases for todays classes. and another 100 pages of readings to do. I was thoroughly tired after writing 2 mids yesterday. So I thought I will take a break from doing the cases as well as the readings. I didnt do a single page of preparation for todays classes. I was disappointed with myself in the class obviously. But what surprised me most is I have been taking these breaks too often in this term. Generally I read most of the cases and participate actively in discussions. But term3 is different for me. I have lost interest in most of the academic activities. May be this has got something to do with the global nature of courses. or may be i am really lazy.
I am feeling that i am not using my brain that much. Most of the times in class discussions I used to knock the central issues of case and come up with good alternatives. But these days even when I read a case I am not analysing it properly. This is resulting in stupid discussions. I am trying hard to motivate myself and go back to books. But somehow I am failing. I guess todays thinking has given me some directions. some pointers to make me more enthusiastic about myself.
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